" Good morning Sir, this is Alexander. How may I help you? " hmph, it was late and I was tired like a dog on the street that had just been through an hour of spin class at the local gymnasium. In no mood for the polite conversations that were the mandatory duty of any responsible call center associate, I flicked the red switch on and admired the brilliant sound of silence that ensued from the noise reducion Bose headset I had on. Hummmm….hissssssss…..loud crackle, I tapped my headset to remove the buzzing noise that had startled me as I relaxed in the beauty of my quiet environment. Nearly jumping out of my comfortable leather chair, I looked over the desk to make sure no one was playing a prank. The red switch was ON and I could still hear a familiar voice saying "next caller on line 1". I played along with the phone deciding there was probably something wrong with the switching system. It was the most child-like yet commanding voice I had ever heard come out of anyone's larynx. ALEXANDER, YOU HAVE SINNED. YOU HAVE PUT TOO MANY PEOPLE ON HOLD TODAY. I was about to disconnect but could'nt will my hands to move, it was as if my brain was telling it what to do, but the limbs were thinking on their own. I tried reaching over for my coffee, which I accomplished with remarkable ease. However, the moment my brain decided to flick the switch my hands simply turned against the order. It was like they were selectively rebelling against my own wishes. This was too much for me, not strange anymore, but spooky and scary, I started shivering as I groped my mind for any logical explanation to this madness I seemed to be trapped in. Straining my ear, I tried to listen to him, GOD, the word popping into my head like I'd known it all the time. I HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOU MAKE INNOCENT PEOPLE NEARLY BREAK DOWN TO TEARS ON THEIR 1 800 CALL. BY THE END OF THIS MINUTE YOU WILL HAVE LOST THAT WHICH IS MOST REQUIRED FOR YOUR PROPER FUNCTIONING AT WORK. GOODBYE. Hello, hello…..crackle, bzzzzzzz. As abruptly as it had begun, the static died and once again the calm of the Bose noise cancellation headset filled the air. I hardly found it calming, it was a sinister silence and I felt the urge to scream. No, there was something wrong, I tried to scream and a huge loud sound emnated from my chest working its way through the throat only to fall dead at my lips. Thud! I got off the floor with a bang unwrapping myself from my comforter. I was still shaking from my strange nightmare when I noticed the date on the wall calendar, it was 7th March 1876. A raspberry coloured mahogany desk stood on my bedside with a plain white open letter on it that read "YOUR SUBMISSION TOWARDS US PATENT 174,465 HAS BEEN ACCEPTED AND GRANTED BY THE USPTO". I looked up towards nothing in particular and shook my head in agony as I realized the extreme punishment that had been dealt out to me for simply making folks wait unnecessarily on 1 800 calls. Oh well, at least I'd be famous soon…...