..Ain't gonna do you no good at all

I've always wanted to be a lyricist. Think about it, you get paid to write stuff like "I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in...." or "..lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you dont confuse them with mountains" and if you're lucky millions of people will be humming it, giving you zero credit unless you also happen to be the singer or guitarist. No, even drummers do not get that kinda recognition except from fans that don't download the songs from a p2p network and make it a point to read the fine print in the covers. Make that like 15% of the people in the world. So, to be a successful lyricist is not easy because you first need to be an aweosme guitarist and/or singer, Which is why I am compelled to crooning in my shower/car and thump on the guitar ignoring neighbours downstairs who I presume are using inverted mops to play pokemon on their ceiling. Yes, I do not get subtle hints. In fact, hit me in the face with a subtle hint and I will twitch my nose searching for that strange breeze that caught my attention. Heyyyyy, getting back to the point, I am already a part-time lyricist and will prove it to you. I twist existing songs and provide new lyrics whenever I dont get the actual ones, which makes me a copy-artist but a lyricist nevertheless. Remember that hip-hop number Tipsy by J-Kwon, well I used to go, and be warned this is neither amusing nor interesting, "EVerbody in the club in Texas" cuz I was in Texas at that time, and a L'ist was born. This is when I realized there was no future for me in the L'ist industry cuz I sucked at it so bad that I could have given the entire
Vogon fleet a run for their money, but I do still carry on singing and thumping for I hope one day the world starts liking sucky lyrics, then I will come out and croon to the swooning crowds. Until then my words will stay burried in my shower.