Attachment is something you realize when you feel the pain of detachment. Yes, I am talking about "That 70's Show". Having watched every episode numerous times, it has become a part of my life. So much, so that, whenever I watch the "Final Episode", I feel grief. I feel grief that it is ending, I feel a void in my life for a moment, I feel emotionally bonded to the characters and it feels like they backed over a cliff and I don't get to see their fall or what became of them. Unfinished business.

The significance of this feeling lies in knowing the fact that I rarely express grief over reality, not even when alone. I don't really know if I hide it very well or if there is indeed nothing in there, but I have rarely felt sympathy, pity, sadness or remorse as a direct result of witnessing or being a part of any realistic occurence. Over the years I have forced myself to showcase such, but they are never completely genuine. Yet, when it comes to non-fiction, I can easily express a higher level of emotion, one that is supposedly human and quite common among people of earth.

Its almost as if, in real life, I attribute all phenomenon to cosmic divinity & incalculable probability leaving little or no room for expectation whereas in a controlled fictional universe, it is possible to exert our laws of realism in full force. Its a strange kind of hypocrisy between real and fiction, as if fiction is more real than real. Without getting into the whole red pill vs blue pill debate, how does one define reality? Given two spheres, if one feels more realistic than the other, is that sufficient to draw a conclusion and call it real? Or do you need to have a realness measure, which can be overshot by a fictional sphere. If a sphere is created by man, would that make the sphere less real than one created by the randomness of nature? Does one need a neutral observation platform i.e. a point of reference? If so, how do we pick a real point of reference outside the real domain?

A new born baby for example, does not face the problem of distinguishing fact from fiction. What I am infering here to is that our reality is a product of our environment and our notions accumulated over time. If we did not have pre-conceived illusions, everything would be real and fictional at once. To mis-conclude this bizzare piece, "Everything is factual including fiction".

In October 2006, I had posted showcasing the greatness in film making of a desi director from New York who had by then, completed "Take the A train", "Call Center" and "Little Man". At that time he was actively seeking funding for his upcoming movie "Kissing Cousins" and we were all eagerly awaiting this. Just so you know, Amyn Kaderali has completed it, a while ago in fact, and the trailer is available and looks great. The DVD is out, if you are a netflixer, I can confirm that it is available to check out. The danger of staying too long in short films is the possibility of losing the ability to create engaging screenplay in longer movies. The aspects of the film that shock and capture the audience in a short film is very different, its akin to a gymnast performing for a few minutes for the gold. A full length movie on the other hand is like a 7-setter Australian Open, it needs to be competitively engaging through variation and consistency. Needless to say, based on the trailer, Amyn has pulled this off and I am eagerly waiting for my Netflix queue to move up.

Stargate Atlantis describes a method of "ascension" followed by the ancients that allows humans to transcend from their physical form to a pure energy state. This is achieved by meditating for a long time on the inner self, becoming pure and facing your worst fears. They also come up with technology that elevates your heart rate, your body's metabolism and modifies various anatomical pieces creating a short cut.

Richard Bach points out through his invaluable wirtings in "Jonathon Livingstone Seagull", that achieving greatness in any chosen task will lead to a higher plane of existence. He also projects that there is no "finish line" and that there are infinite planes to jump to. Perfection, in this case, is the key to salvation and there is no end to it, there is no absolute truth except the will to break self-imposed barriers and to be able to guide others along the same path.

The rishi's on the Himalayan mountain ranges abandon all material life in the quest for eternal truth. According to the great Hindu epics, the "Ramayana" and "Mahabharatha", they stand on one leg for years together chanting god's name and offering theirselves in his service. It appears that realizing how insignificant you are, shedding every ounce of your ego and becoming totally selfless for a higher being lets you transcend.

Richard Bach, gets into the picture again with his "Illusions", where he takes a slightly modified view of releasing oneself from mortal obstacles. With a great short story to begin with, he describes how a fish breaks loose from its group and swims with the stream, allowing the envelope to take him on his journey. This wisdom imparted by this book lies more in realizing that every soul is capable of that release, and chastises looking upto to an ascended individual since this is possible by anyone of us. Taking us to the other side, it also shows the predicament of the higher being in the presence of mortal fools that look upto him as a Messiah, a messenger of god.

Having made it more than halfway through the "Fountainhead", I can compare "Howard Roark" to a mortal that strives to achieve what he feels is perfection in architecture. The complicated analysis that Ayn Rand brings out through verbal jousting between "Dominique" and "Toohey", shows us how perfection is never truly appreciated in a society. A society by my definition is an attempt to collude the strengths and weaknesses of individuals, thereby creating a well rounded entity. There is no place in society for a sheer individualist, who by this token will unfortunately be outcast as is the case with this character.

One needs to answer a greater question before seeking the path to salvation. What is salvation? Is it the quest for ultimate happiness? Is it the quest for greatness? Or is it the search for purpose, for a chance to glimpse the boundary of what scientists term infinity. To me, the whole point is moot since its an inifinite recursion. If you did catch a glimpse on this "boundary of the inifinite", the first question in your mind would be, whats beyond that? So, you see, there is no real answer. Unless, our minds are so puny that we are not able to ask the right questions. That must be it, maybe we are indeed dumb creations that get our hormones all jacked up when we seek the Infinite, when in fact it lies right in front of us. The problem, ofcourse lies in perception.

Goal of this lifetime: Conquer Perception!